You don’t really have a fear of abandonment.
You have an attachment to abandonment. ⚡️
You don’t really have a fear of being hurt, you have an attachment to hurting.
You don’t really have a fear of running out of all your money, you have an attachment to running out of money.
Wherever anyone assumes the fear of something is the issue, it rarely is. It’s the attachment to the issue that IS the issue.
The work is not about getting over a fear, but in removing all the investment in the thing you’re attached to creating.
✨ Let’s take “fear of abandonment” for example.
Which can obviously play itself out in many areas. In romantic relationships, potential clients, current employees, current employers. (Yes, the attachment to abandonment will play out in ANY form of relationship.)
The experience of being abandoned was likely imprinted in childhood, or learned via repetition later.
The obvious ways that abandonment will imprint are from things like a parent dying, parents getting a divorce, absent parents, alcoholic parents etc
✨ But as a child, you will also perceive things like mental illness as “a vacant parent.” They aren’t really present and you perceive that AS ABANDONMENT and internalize it.
As a child you will also perceive a parent who’s preoccupied or emotionally distant as “a vacant parent.” Their energy is not fully in their body or their presence and you pereceive that AS ABANDONMENT too and internalize it.
Children are wired to see the world as revolving around them, so whatever happens is perceived as the child being the cause. (No way around that, just the way we’re built)
So…..a mother who is depressed? That imprints as abandonment.
A father who’s smoking pot all day>> abandonment.
Parents who are not emotionally available >>> abandonment.
And because of the way human brains wire, you seek to recreate these imprinted patterns as an adult.
No matter how unhealthy they are- your brain and nervous system seek the repetition of them.
So- that turns into things like:
✨Or a repeating pattern of clients ALMOST signing up, then ghosting.
✨Men/women being intense with you for a short time, then bailing or ghosting.
✨Likely a lot of pets, bc they can’t “leave.”
✨Making a lot of money, but spending it just as fast. (Creating a set up where money leaves.)
Etc etc etc
That feeling of anxiety, stomach leaping into your chest, obsession to fix or check in or text or make sure someone/something hasn’t gone anywhere?
That is the result of an attachment to abandonment.
This all occurs NOT, as the conventional philosophies tell you it does, because of a fear- but because of an attachment ⚡️
You get imprinted to be attached TO whatever experience you were having internally as a child.
It’s actually very simple.
And so the way out of the patterns you have in adulthood is to locate the original experiences that created this attachment IN THE BODY and correct them.
It’s a systematic process that inevitably I walk all of my clients through, because dun dun dunnnnn
EVERYONE HAS imprinted experiences from childhood.
And nobody is perfect so parents inevitably abandon kids in some way shape or form. Mine did. If I have kids, I’m sure I’ll have bad days and accidentally imprint them too.
The good news is that it’s all very simple to address, assess and resolve.
Whether you’re a multimillionaire who has trouble with relationships, or a single working mother who can’t seem to keep more than 3k in the bank at a time, or a high performing entrepreneur who can’t stand being still for more than 20 minutes at a time.
(I didn’t even get into the MYRIAD of imprinted patterns we can have. I just touched on one.
There are many.)
But again, all very simple to address, assess and resolve. I’ve been using the same methods to get to the root of patterns for people for about 15 years.
And no one else in the world comes close to the accuracy and reliability of my methods.
Whether it was while I worked on mental health units of the Vanderbilt Psych Hospital, rehabs, did healing work, Craniosacral therapy, Somatic Experiencing, coaching, executive consulting- these pattern breaking methods have been working for about 15 years.
So, if you’re relating to this or feeling like your mind is slightly blown or even if you’re now putting some pieces together-
I invite you to ask me to give you more information on my Intensive now.
The Intensive is the best place to begin and it’s also where I can assess, locate cause, and resolve the cause of any pattern. Any imprint.
Yes, I mean ANY pattern.
Patterns all follow the same, well, pattern ⚡️
And they’re simple to resolve when you work with me.
Start here: brookekalan.com/apply
You don’t have a fear of abandonment. You have an attachment to it.
August 18, 2020