The actual truth about Empaths and Narcissists
I’ve gotten dozens of requests to share this post again…so here it is 🔥
As someone who’s both been through this and is also a former psychotherapist who specialized in trauma resolution and dual diagnosis – I really want to offer my perspective here bc it’s incredibly helpful.
Let me preface this by saying I dated narcissists for years, and I’m an empath, so I know this dynamic like the back of my hand.
I’m describing from my first hand experience so you’re also getting the benefit of a Clairvoyant, highly self-aware perspective here, which is incomparably valuable.
So…I’m just going to jump right in.
Empaths perceive the disconnect in a narcissist.
They sense something isn’t as it seems.
They see it.
They feel it.
It confuses them.
And if you’re an Empath, you don’t so much want to “heal” the disconnect (contrary to popular opinion), you’re perplexed by it.
As an empath, your desire for wholeness in anything leads you to want to get to the bottom of the energy vacuum (that’s not negative, it’s just there) that you feel.
And as a Narcissist, a simultaneous desire for and fear of wholeness leads you to want to let people in but almost immediately deflect them back out.
Initially- Empaths will feel emboldened by a Narcissist’s energy.
It’s big energy.
You like big.
It feels alive.
The attention and recognition you feel appears to be nourishing.
And you like feeling that, because it feels like Life Force.
Sit with that👆🏻. It’s important.
For Narcissists, you love how you feel with Empaths at first. It feels like they’re a big ball of inviting, warm, receptive, homey energy too. Almost like a vortex.
So, Empaths, we’re basically here to channel Life Force, so when you think you’re feeling that coming through them, you feel like you’re HOME.
You’re attracted NOT only because of internal wounding or childhood blueprinting (contrary to conventional popular opinion) but because their big energy feels like Soul energy.
It kind of feels like God, or at least it feels like you’ve finally met a Soul Mate.
(I used to HATE it when people assumed that I was drawn to narcissists because I wanted to “fix” them or “heal” them.
That was never it. It was the way their energy felt like Life Force.
And if you’re hearing this for the first time I guarantee it’s gonna light you up because this is the truth conventional opinions don’t understand.)
The banter is great.
It’s all boppity bop bop.
The Empath’s energy seems to swell when you’re around the Narcissist….
The Narcissist’s energy seems to melt when you’re around the Empath….
So Empaths, it feels like Life Force is pouring out of your Narcissist. – this is also likely a defined will or defined emotional center in their Human Design
(By the way, Narcissists. This is why everyone falls in love with you.💡)
You are perceiving the swell of THEIR energy. It’s not yours, even though it feels like yours or it feels unique to your relationship when you’re around them. (Empaths typically have an open emotional center in their Human Design)
The issue is that you accidentally mistake that big energetic push as Love or affection.
And then you get attached to it. Addicted.
So when a narcissist does that thing they do, and removes their energy from you suddenly, you lose your bearings because you had come to rely upon that energy. This dis-regulates the nervous system.
You’re all “wait, where did they go? I can’t feel it anymore.”
Until they swoop back and you mistakenly feel secure again because that energy is here again.
And there’s how that cycle starts….
You’ll know EXACTLY what I’m talking about if you’ve been there.
Now, cue how codependency plays in here.
In a post I did about Codependency I said:
“If you can’t recognize your pain as a child, or didn’t have adults who were able to recognize or help you resolve your pain as a child, then as an adult you will default to mistaking the Source of your pain, and think your pain comes from others.
Codependency is you accidentally mistaking a call to Heal yourself as a compulsion to over identify with the pain that needs healing in others.”
Stay with me….I’m almost done…
So For Empaths and Narcissists it plays out very similarly.
The unique codependent bond in this case is that the Empath will accidentally mistake a call to Love themself as a compulsion to over identify with the illusion of Love (the energy that feels like Life Force) they see in the Narcissist.
And on the flip side-
The Narcissist will accidentally mistake the call to truly love themselves as a compulsion to identify and then run from/deny the Love they see in the Empath.
Hence that thing that feels like cat and mouse.
Essentially running from mirror images of each other
Neither is truly owning who or what they are (on many levels, not just on level of personality) so it’s just a dance between illusion and reflection.
I know this is a mouthful but it was on my heart and it needed to be shared.
And for either side here, when you legit get this and understand it, the dynamic won’t appeal to you anymore and you will be free.
Of course I can’t explain ALL the nuances in one post. This is going in my book.
There are feminine/masculine Energetics involved that I didn’t go into.
There are human design components involved that I haven’t mentioned here. Blueprinting from childhood etc.
There is a lot of healing to be done here.
This healing work is one of the things I have been helping clients with for over 15 years. I’ve helped countless men and women resolve this and change their relationship patterns for good.
If you are reading this and want access to an effective resolution to this pattern, I’d highly recommend booking a 90 minute intensive with me.
Dm me for that ⚡️
So when you’ve done the inner work and come to sniff this dynamic out, this dynamic begins to fall out of your life.
I used to fall HEAD OVER HEELS for Narcissists. For years. Despite knowing better. Despite huge amounts of pain and anxiety. Despite having been a therapist myself-
And it wasn’t until I finally did unrelated inner work on coming out of illusion and fully into Truth, that I saw this clearly and the habit just popped off like a button.
What I’ve just shared is SO valuable and I hope it sheds light on the truth for many here. ❣️
The Truth About Empaths and Narcissists
March 15, 2021