Ever look back over the last few years, and notice “Oh ok. Nowwww I see why everything had to happen that way.” Story time. ☀️
In February of 2015, my best friend from England came to visit me…and I had no idea just how pivotal that was going to be for me, until after it happened.
God, I was so depressed back then. Dead broke. Dating narcissists. I remember feeling depleted, bitter, like I’d lost my ability to feel real joy.
Which was really hard for me to deal with because I KNEW my real self. I had been happy years before.
I had been vibrant and fun and traveling the world and excited about life before. I remembered being able to marvel at the tiniest joys in life. I reveled in the splendor of life’s little moments of magic.
But over time, by around 2013, I’d lost myself.
I couldn’t get my business going. So I felt like a failure. I was scraping by daily. Being broke has a way of eating away at your soul. I kept dating the WRONG men over and over. That took a huge toll on my heart and my spirit. I was crying everyday.
Struggling everyday. Things looked manageable on the outside, but on the inside I felt like I was dying.
It was maybe the worst period of my life.
My friend was kind of in shock when he saw me.
It had been about 15 years since we’d seen each other- and I was a shell of who I’d been before.
A far cry from the wild, spiritual, energetic, HUGE hearted, charismatic, free-spirited rave girl he’d known 15 years before.
💡The reason why I know this was a pivotal moment for me?
Seeing my reflection through his eyes was a wake up call. His presence literally reminded me of who I used to be and how far down into the depths of depression and loss and poverty I’d gone.
He is smart. So smart that he used every chance he got to remind me of who I really was that visit. To remind me of my beauty, my gifts, my brilliance. As far down as I’d let my true nature fall, he still saw the spark and held me to it.
Like accountability to the Light.
“Do not doubt. Do not let yourself doubt. Ever. The little voice inside you knows . Don’t let the doubt in. It’s insidious. On wards and upwards my gorgeous friend x keep on reminding yourself that you are worth more ….You deserve more…And you need more to sustain and grow that beautiful soul of yours !!!”
(That’s a message he sent me after he left. It’s from 2015)
It was then that I put my foot down.
On the reality I’d created.
I didn’t know HOW I was going to get better but I was committed to it anyway.
I broke up with the boyfriend.
I decided and declared publically, that no matter what I WOULD travel again. (I hadn’t been able to afford it for a decade)
I WOULD fly across the ocean again.
I WOULD dig myself out of the hole.
I WOULD heal my relationship with God.
I would heal my relationship with money.
I WOULD feel boundless joy again.
I would feel magic again.
I would bring mySELF back.
So….I committed to changing every single day.
The Vanderbilt degree, certifications and the Masters ironically had nothing to do with what saved me….
I played Abraham Hicks morning noon and night.
I recited new beliefs.
I listened to meditations every night before bed.
I returned to doing ceremony
I changed the way I felt emotionally every single day.
I grabbed any free content I could find
I reached out to former mentors.
I sat in church pews, alone when services were over, and begged for solutions.
I worked on changing my thoughts, beliefs and mindset every single day.
For months. And months. And months.
One day in 2015, my mom texted me out of the blue and invited me to go to Ireland with her.
This was truly OUT OF THE BLUE at the time bc my mother and I weren’t really on speaking terms at that time. I had $200 to my name.
She asked me to come anyway.
(Unbeknownst to me at the time, my mom had also decided to heal our relationship that year too❤️)
“I will travel again. I will cross the ocean again. I will feel magic again. I will bring myself back.”
That all happened on that trip to Ireland.
The land washed me somehow. As we traveled from town to town, site to site, I started to notice glimpses of reverence again.
Some days I could barely keep my eyes open bc I felt so soulfully exhausted, I felt like I was fighting for consciousness in a way- but slowly something was happening….
I also met a man while I was there. And fell in love.
And it was THAT love that emboldened me to find a way to make the money to get back there.
And I did. I sold my first $2500 package in the fall of 2015. I had never sold more than $200 at a time before that.
Momentum was building.
I vowed I would never be broke again.
I would never feel helpless or hopeless again.
I kept going.
I led retreats in Ireland. Led retreats in Taos.
Left Nashville and moved back home to Virginia.
I kept doing my inner work daily.
I remember the spot on my floor I would sit on nightly, with candles lit, imagining my first 10k month. Imagining being soooo happy. In my soul.
I got asked to housesit by some of the wealthiest families in the county. That was a BLESSING.
And I soaked up as much wealth as I could.
I roamed the mansions and properties and gardens as if they were mine, expressed gratitude. Remarking all the beauty and joy and detail.
I worked on healing my relationships with my family. I worked on releasing burdens I had been carrying everyday. I talked to God everyday. (Sometimes I cussed God out, but ya know. That happens.)
I literally invested like 10 hours a day, every day, for YEARS- on improving my life, my energy, my mind, my circumstances.
If I do the math, that’s like over 10,000 hours of time I invested….
I didn’t stop. I refused to stop until I broke through.
I started flourishing.
There wasn’t one moment where everything changed. For me, it was more like a series of accumulated moments. Accumulated time. Stacked on itself over and over.
But somewhere in there, through all of it- I broke through.
In 2017, I started seeing things like 11k in 7 days.
In 2018, a 27k month.
A 30k day.
I was breaking 6 figures yearly.
A 55k cash month in 2019.
And a 40k day.
And besides the fact that I had healed my relationship with money, I had my energy back.
My heart back.
My soul felt alive again.
Passion for life was coursing through my body.
Magic had become not just an outside thing but a state of BEING for me.
I felt joy every day.
And honestly, that part is the part that meant the most to me.
Because it doesn’t go anywhere. It doesn’t ebb and flow like the money or the audience or the outcome. It’s with me daily. It’s ME daily.
When I say “I refused to stop until I broke through” you see, I mean I refused to stop until ME broke through the shell of sadness and struggle that had developed over time.
Three years. Over 10,000 hours of devotion and commitment.
That’s what it took for me.
The reason why I created Money Mindset Mastery and Energetics of Success? I wanted to know if I could teach what I had figured out to other people.
Could I pour everything I did in 10,000 hours into 5-6 weeks, and more importantly- would it work? Would it translate for other people? To be honest, I had NO IDEA if it would work when I led the programs live the first round.
It did work. It did translate. People got insane results. But you’ve seen those. I’ve already shared that part.
By the way, here’s the link. There are a few hours left to join
MMM. And 27 hours left to join EOS.
Anyway, I was just sitting here today, thinking about all the pieces that come together in our lives. The people, the friendships, the moments, the suffering, the heartbreak. The love, the light, the magic, the synchronicity.
And for me- whenever I made a huge decision, with absolute certainty that my goal WOULD happen.
And committed myself limitlessly to doing and being whatever it took to get there?
I always break through.
And part of my magic now? It is in showing other people exactly how to create their breakthroughs too.
Final call for my mindset course.
10,000 hours vs 5 weeks. It’s your call ❤️
Having drinks tonight to celebrate life, either way. 🎸
The Truth About Breakthrough
September 10, 2020